


Living Death

by orphan_account



Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, Suicide Squad (2016)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-02
Updated: 2017-04-02
Packaged: 2018-10-14 04:56:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,457
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10529397
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Written because the relationship between The Joker and Harleen Quinzel was SO intriguing... Batman talks to Harleen about her abusive relationship - can he make her see the light?





	

“Puddin’!” Harley squealed as she realised the love of her life wasn’t dead, and was busting her out of the prison cell. She embraced him, and didn’t need to see him to know he had a self-satisfied possessive smirk on his face.

“Why don’t you be a good girl and get me some classifieds to read through?” he said, leering. “And by classifieds, I mean classified documentation.”

“Sure thing, puddin’!” Harley said, winking and bounding out of the room. She knew exactly where to go, but what she didn’t know was how soon their presence had been detected and therefore the deadline for their departure.

But things were back to normal – completely crazy.

Again she had fallen back into her default state of letting the Joker do whatever he wanted, despite the recent realisation given by the Enchantress that she wanted more. A completely normal life, married to the Joker with two kids – who would’ve thought?

She sighed. Deep down, she knew it was there all along. But she knew that he wouldn’t be happy to hear about this.

Grabbing some choice classified folders, she ran back into the jail, only to see a shadow moving.

“Batman!” she gasped.

“Give it up, Harley,” he said in his typical raspy tone.

“You might want to try something different, Bats,” she said, smirking. “Don’t think that approach is ever going to work.”

Batman dashed for her, but she backflipped and slammed the connecting prison bars. She was safe, for now.

“Amanda Waller told me about what the Enchantress did, about revealing everyone’s secret desires. Tell me, were you surprised to find out yours?”

Her eyes widened as his probing hit hard. She wasn’t in a state to hide her reaction, either. So she did the only thing her reflexes would allow – she got out her gun and shot at him.

The typical thud was heard as the bullet entered the wall. But she didn’t really expect anything other than to miss.

“If you come with me, I’ll treat you well,” came a voice from the shadows.

Harley grimaced, angry. Was he actually offering romance, or was he just implying something platonic? As much as she was enraged, she didn’t have time to hunt him down. She knew she had to be out of there as soon as possible.

Thankful she had a good reason to be out of there, she turned and ran.

~~

Now back at the Joker’s new hideout, she found herself musing over what had happened while the Joker was making arrangements for their next hit.

While Batman had certainly pitied her, he had never before offered her asylum, offered to _help_ her.

She froze as she realised that no one in the room was talking, and the Joker was staring at her, scrutinizing her.

With a turn of his head, he dismissed the henchmen in the room. He walked towards her and stood there, not saying a word.

Harley shuddered at the sheer force from his menacing aura.

“It… it was Batman. He said something about taking care of me. Maybe he meant he was going to kill me,” she said, giggling, trying to downplay the situation.

The Joker was unmoved.

Harley gulped. “It’s not as if I was considering it! I didn’t fuck him, for fuck’s sake!”

While no one could ever be 100% safe around the Joker, it was her loyalty that she felt had always kept her the most safe. So why didn’t he look placated by what she’d said?

He bent down so he was just inches from her face. “He fucked your mind. Your most precious thing,” he hissed.

Harley blinked, and her jaw dropped. She was now quite uneasy, but she knew better than to let it show.

“The only opinion that should ever matter to you is _mine_ ,” the Joker snarled.

_‘What about my opinion?’_ was Harley’s first thought. She could understand him getting jealous if she listened to other people, but was she supposed to completely lose herself? Didn’t he care about _her_?

The Joker gripped her head in his vice-like hands, at an angle which would make it easy to snap her neck.

Harley instinctively remained limp, compliant.

With a predatory look, the Joker kissed her viciously, daring her to resist his claim to her body, mind and soul once more.

 ~~

It had all gone to hell again. They were on the rooftop of the building where they had tried to conduct a heist.

A familiar shadow landed close to them.

“You should let her go, Joker,” Batman said. “It’s not as if there’s anywhere to go from here.”

“Hey, don’t talk about me as if I’m not here,” Harley protested. Oh no, Batman’s apparent concern for her was undoing all her hard work of becoming Joker’s devoted slave again.

“Why would I do that?” the Joker replied. “You can see she’s happy to be here.”

“That’s not what the Enchantress said.”

Harley froze.

“Really?” the Joker sauntered. “Pray tell, dear Harley… what are these deep desires of yours that are unfulfilled?”

“Hm?” the Joker prompted, since she didn’t respond.

“I… want to be married to you with two kids, and live a normal life.”

Joker burst into raucous laughter. Just then, a helicopter run by the Joker’s crew appeared above them. A ladder was lowered.

“Coming?” the Joker said, smirking.

Harley didn’t move.

The smile faded from the Joker’s face. “I see you’ve forgotten your place. Just keep in mind that I don’t like to share my toys.”

Harley found herself thrown on the ground behind a wall by Batman, who’d pushed her out of the path of Joker’s bullet.

She didn’t move as she heard the sound of the helicopter blades get fainter.

“If you have any mercy, you’ll kill me,” she said quietly, getting to her feet and standing in front of Batman.

“I’m all out of mercy today,” Batman said, bringing her into a hug.

The last thing she remembered was sobbing uncontrollably into his chest.

~~

Harleen awoke in a strange room which was richly furnished. Upon wandering around the place which must be a mansion, she came across a man at a desk.

“Bruce Wayne!” she said, surprised.

He genially rose to his feet. “Ms. Quinzel. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

Bruce went forward and shook her hand warmly. “Er, I suppose you must be wondering what you’re doing here. It’s a community service kind of deal. Off the records.”

“You’re in trouble with Batman?” Harley mused.

Bruce chuckled, embarrassed. “The deal is that you can stay here and recover, but you’re unable to leave without Batman’s approval.”

“I see,” Harleen responded neutrally, unsure of whether she should be offended, worried, or happy. But truth be told, she could use the reprieve.

~~

A week had passed. She’d only seen Bruce Wayne a couple of times, and each time he was polite to her, albeit a bit aloof.

She’d been wandering around the mansion in a state of withdrawn shock. She knew from her professional background that not much could be achieved in a week, but still, the idea that she could eventually heal was a comfort.

All she’d ever wanted to do with the Joker was nurse him back to health. And she’d never let go of that, to the point where she’d become a criminal to maintain contact with him.

Despite everything, deep down she knew she still wanted to help that twisted mind. What was it about him that made him so special? Why did she want to break professional boundaries around him, put it all on the line just to… see him smile?

With a sigh, she fell face down onto the bed. It was at this point that she realised she wasn’t alone in the room.

Her eyes widened as she realised it was the Joker. She pinched herself, but it was no hallucination.

“W-why are you here?” she yelped.

“Why? Because, dear Harley, I can’t make you come. And that’s bad for my image,” the Joker said, leering at the double entendre.

“No, please!” she said, terrified as he approached the bed.

The Joker was unfazed, almost feeding off her fear. “Looks like I have to remind you of a few things,” he said as he stuck a needle in her arm. A wave of nausea came over her and she blacked out.  

~~

When she awoke, she found herself strapped on a table. There were various implements of torture hanging on the walls.

Scared was an understatement. She’d never reached his depths and hadn’t ever seen proper limits in him, and he’d only stopped torturing her the first time because he’d broken her.

“I’m impressed,” the Joker said. “It took him only a week to undo all the work I did.” He chuckled. “Although, you’ve no idea how long it took for me to train you.”

“You’d been playing with me for years,” Harleen snarled, disgusted.

“Playing, yes. But _training_ commenced when I decided I wanted to keep you.”

“Well, I’ve opened my eyes. You can’t have me anymore. I refuse to be your little plaything.”

“Oh, Doctor… you have no idea how much those words hurt me,” the Joker said theatrically, placing a hand on his heart. “Love is a funny thing. It makes us do things we wouldn’t normally do.”

“Just do your worst, you bastard,” Harleen said, close to tears at his veiled threat. No doubt he would go beyond his usual depravity, but she would try to take it all as best she could.

“Oh, I _will_. I’m going to do the worst thing I can possibly think of to you,” the Joker said, moving his face close and leering at her. “I’m going to marry you.”

Harleen gritted her teeth, and spat at him, angry that he would trivialise the act that would give the deep emotional connection she craved. “Not likely, you _prick_!”

The Joker wiped it off his forehead, and noted some of the white makeup on his glove. “You always did know how to get under my skin,” he said with a smirk.

He turned to the door. “Come on, boys – let’s go for a ride!”

They unstrapped her and threw her in the back of a van, hands tied behind her back, gagged and a bag over her head.  

After a while, they pulled her out and forced her to walk. The bag was ripped from her head, and she realised she was in a church. The pastor looked terrified.

“Ooh, I love progressive churches,” the Joker said with a sadistic grin. “Let’s hurry.”

The pastor muttered his phrases. “Do you take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife?”

“I do.”

“Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?”

The Joker grabbed the back of Harleen’s head and forced her to nod.

The pastor paused, having an attack of conscience.

The Joker pulled out a gun and aimed it at his head. “Don’t have second thoughts, now. They’ll do your head in.”

The pastor gulped. “I-I now pronounce you man and wife.”

The Joker grinned. “Thanks for your service.”

Harleen headbutted the Joker’s arm, causing the bullet from his gun to miss the man’s head and go into a wall. The Joker’s henchmen’s jaws all dropped at her audacity.

“We need a witness,” she mumbled through her gag.

“What about all my men?”

“A _reliable_ witness?”

The Joker froze with an unreadable grin. Then he rolled his eyes. “You heard her, boys… let’s go.” He put the gun away.

Harleen’s eyes widened, then narrowed, wary of his uncharacteristic behaviour. It certainly seemed like he was acting the part of a husband, going along with her wishes, but she knew him too well to take it at face value.

~~

“Welcome home, darling!” the Joker said theatrically as he pulled her towards his bedroom as he had done a thousand times before. “As you can see, marriage changes everything.”

“You call this a marriage,” Harleen said sourly.

“Well, I might have added my own little touches here and there, but yes!”

Harleen pursed her lips, determined to rile him up. “It’s not as if we have a piece of paper saying we’re married…”

“Are you fucking kidding me,” the Joker said, genuinely annoyed. “A piece of paper.”

He turned around to address his underlings. “Fine. The dear wife wants a piece of paper.”

“I never said I _wanted_ it. I refused to marry you, remember?”

The Joker turned to her, angry. “You’re getting that piece of paper.”

Once again she was in the back of a van. When she emerged, she realised they were near the city hall, after closing time.

The registrar looked surprised as a group of men and a sobered woman forced themselves into his office. Wisely, he stayed silent.

The Joker sat down, brandishing his cane with the gem on top. “I was hoping you’d make things official between me and my lady.”

The threat was clear, and the registrar succumbed. “What’s your name, Sir?”

The Joker leaned forward and whispered to him.

“And her name?”

The Joker frowned, and turned to her. “Uhh… what was your name again?”

Harleen pursed her lips.

“Harleen Quinzel,” the Joker said, turning back to the registrar. “Took a moment for me to remember, sorry.”

“The fee will be $200, payable in cash, cheque…” the registrar froze “uhh… we’ll waive the fee.”

“Fantastic!” the Joker said, grabbing the marriage certificate. “We’ll be on our way, then!” he said jovially as he bounded out the door.

~~

Once again, the Joker pushed her into the bedroom.

Resigned, she lay on the bed next to him.

After a while, she realised that he was simply resting. She turned her head to peek at him.

“Have I not changed enough for you?” he asked softly.

“I doubt it,” she said morosely.

She lay there, musing.

After a while, she turned to him and trailed a finger seductively along his arm.

The Joker looked at her quizzically.

“Even if _you_ don’t mean it, I do,” she said sadly.  

An angry glint passed along the Joker’s eyes and he moved away, offended.

Harleen’s jaw dropped. It was so uncharacteristic of him to refuse to take advantage of her.

Another way of torturing her, taunting her with the possibility of a real marriage.

~~

Despite her obvious reluctance, they insisted that she accompany them on the next heist.

She noticed a gun on a table while the others were distracted. Grabbing it, she pointed it at the Joker.

Without hesitation, he strode towards her with outstretched arms and stood in point blank range of the gun.

“Come on baby. Kill me with kindness,” he said theatrically.

She stood there like a deer in the headlights.

Gritting her teeth, she lifted the gun and brought the butt down on the back of his head. Realising he was still standing, she hit him again.

“You know, it really would be faster if you just shot me,” the Joker said dryly as he withstood yet another blow.

“I want you to get the medical help you need!” she shouted, hitting him again in desperation.

“Are you kidding me? They’re the ones who created me!” the Joker said, angry.

Harleen froze. What he said seemed genuine.

She dropped the gun and staggered backwards, leaning on the table, hand over her mouth. Half-aware of her surroundings, she allowed herself to be led away.

~~

The Joker picked her up and carried her into the hideout, bridal style, followed by his henchmen.

“Well, my dear,” he said, placing her down, “what can I possibly give you as a gift?”

Harleen looked him dead in the eye. “I want you to give up this life of crime and live a normal life, with me.”

“You heard her! Let’s pack it up, boys!” the Joker said, waving his arms.

His henchmen all laughed.

Then he became serious. “You all have ten seconds to get out of here and forget you were ever with me, or I’ll kill you.”

Freaked, the henchmen scrambled, except for his #1.

The Joker cocked his head and took his gun out, pointing it directly at him. The top henchman didn’t flinch.

Grumbling, the Joker walked up to him and brought the butt of the gun down on his neck, knocking him unconscious.

“It wouldn’t be good to start a normal life by killing someone,” he added as an explanation to Harley, who was staring at him, wide-eyed.

“Shall we go?”

It took a few moments for her to shake herself out of the being frozen, but she accepted his outstretched arm and walked out with him.

“That’s how you knock someone unconscious, by the way,” the Joker said dryly. They both giggled.

~~

He’d picked a nice house in a nice neighbourhood. He seemed to know exactly what her preferences were.

“Wow,” Harleen said, walking in and twirling around with open arms. The Joker was smiling at her, dressed in a business suit and without any makeup.

Harleen shook her head in wonder. He slipped into it so perfectly, she started to doubt herself; was he a masterful actor? She didn’t want to feel like there was the sword of Damocles above her head, waiting to destroy her.

A sober expression came over her face as she pondered. “Is this what you really want?”

The Joker took a step towards her. “You’re insane, and that’s the nicest thing I could ever say about you. When you call me puddin’, you’re saying you love me. When you bash me on the back of the head, you’re saying you love me. All this despite the way I’ve treated you. Is there anything in there that isn’t pure love?”

She gaped, choking back tears. “Thank you. Thank you for saying it means something.”

“It always has, Harleen,” he said as he ran his hands down her arms.

~~

About a month later, she’d easily fallen into the role of a housewife, and the Joker had a steady job at some company.

There was a storm in the area. Some lightning flashes revealed a figure standing near the window. Harleen jumped, but then realised it was Batman.

“What… are you…”

“I’ve come to see if you’re OK, and also to put a stop to Joker’s crimes.”

“What is this?” the Joker asked, coming into the room.

Batman couldn’t believe his eyes. Everything about him seemed normal, and he couldn’t even recognise his voice since he was talking in a normal way.

Harleen looked nervous as Batman passed her. “What’s this about crimes?”

“Your henchmen are still carrying on crime in your name. And you appear to be in multiple places at once.”

The Joker rolled his eyes. “See, the Joker isn’t really me. It’s in everyone.”

“That’s the biggest joke you’ve ever said,” Batman muttered through gritted teeth.

The Joker waved his arms in the air. “Like it or not, I really have nothing to do with it now. It’s all happening without me. So where to from here?”

Batman narrowed his eyes. “This really is some sick joke. There’s no way you’ve changed. The things you’ve done in the past are far beyond normal human behaviour.”

The Joker looked worried. “Harleen, don’t.”

Batman turned around to see her pointing a gun at his head. It would’ve been a clean shot.

“I don’t want him to take what we have away from us,” she said, tears falling down her face.

“It’s his decision,” the Joker replied. “We’re operating under the law now, remember? No exceptions.”

Batman’s mouth fell open. But it was true that the Joker did just save his life.

Harleen put the gun on the side table.

Batman advanced on the Joker menacingly. “We’d better not cross paths again, otherwise I’d reach my limit regarding the value of keeping criminals _alive_.”

The Joker’s eyes widened at hearing the uncharacteristic threat. “Don’t worry – love makes people do what they normally wouldn’t do.”

Batman stared at the Joker incredulously, then walked towards the window.

“Hey,” the Joker said.

Batman turned.

“Thanks.”

Batman was too shocked to reply. He just leapt out the window, but eavesdropped to see how the conversation went.

“Are you alright, puddin’?”

“Yes, are you?”

“Mmh.”

“Wow, he still doesn’t trust me.”

Harleen laughed. “You’ve done so many things in the past! How can you possibly expect him to trust you?”

“I know, but I’m not doing them _now_.”

“I know, babe. But he’s giving you some slack, anyway. I’m actually shocked he’s doing that. He really does mean well.”

“Mmh. Let’s go to bed.”

Batman shook his head, thinking that everything was insane. Was he really doing the right thing?

Then he smirked.

Two wrongs do make a right.

**Author's Note:**

> I'd be surprised if anyone could predict the happy ending (if these were real life people, I'd say no way, too far)
> 
> But hey, I'm a sucker for happy endings. x3


End file.
